This is a very odd place. The computer keyboard is all wrong, and I accidentally just switched it off and on again when trying to log into facebook. Couple that with the loud,not terribly well played/sung music downstairs, and the fear that there is someone behind me, watching me write, and itś surprising that you’re seeing this at all!
It seems that currently, this is my only form of communication with those not following me on twitter (though if youŕe not, its unlikely that youŕe reading this anyway). So why I dont I ramble on about how my life has been since I last wrote one of these, to waste away the hours.
Firstly, the main reason for me not writing one of these in ages, is that firstly, I was busy and then I decided that I wanted to begin writing a little more seriously. I’ve written a couple of things which should be heard, not read, which is a terribly liberating experience. I imagine that I’m sitting in front of an audience, reading aloud to them, the words which I write. Its mainly liberating because I forget about the fact that it will probably never happen, and instead, concentrate on sounding witty, funny and just nice.
Its also rather liberating, as I don’t have to write things in a separate way to how I would like to write them, so that people will understand exactly what I mean, and in which tone I say it, as I already know, and can convey that in my voice, with my pauses, sighs and impressions.
Anyway, my party was wonderful, pride was fantastic and prom was quite good, if not, at times, slightly humiliating. Ive got back into composing, and tried to make a video three times. Each time Ive scrapped it and gone a completely different way.
More recently though, I’m not having the best of times (but not the worst of times either, so…). Yesterday consisted of getting up at 3:30am having my parents monitor everything I eat, and crying after finally talking to friends again.
Today however, consisted of reading Derren Brown’s newest book, ‘confessions of a conjourer’ and listening to Chameleon Circuit’s ‘still got legs’on repeat, many times.
The highlights so far are easily recognisable. The cute model-looking cabin crew member who kept looking in my direction, the ability to teach my parents phrases and watch them use them etc.
There have, however been some stranger aspects to my recent days.
For example: ‘creepy lady’-
Creepy lady is a rather old woman who I saw on our first day here. She is rather large, has long white hair and wears red flowery silk clothing. A little like a fat version of old Rose in James Cameron’s ‘Titanic’.
Creepy lady has been staring at me, every time I’ve looked in her direction.
She stared at me when I first walked past her yesterday. She stared at me as she got changed. She stared at me at dinner. She stared at me this morning at breakfast. She stared at me this afternoon. And she stared at me this evening.
The situation has not been made any better by my mum’s suggestion that ‘maybe she fancies you’.
The problem is, its not just her. I realise this is really just typical teenage paranoia, but it seems that people here have absolutely no problem in just staring at me as I walk past their table and/or sunlounger. I’m trying to work out why. Is it my impeccable taste in clothes(!), or the food which I have chosen (perhaps the prospect of a teenager voluntarily having salads is completely alien to them), the red hair, or something else? What ever it is, its not showing signs of stopping.
There are, however, some attractive people here, and with this, I’ve made a stunning realisation. To show someone my interest in them, I tend to make a ‘bitch I despise you and all those unfortunate people who have ever associated with you’. I don’t mean to do this. And, if someone else has this automatic response, it would seem as though we want to claw each other’s faces off. On the reverse of this, someone may take my expression as hostile and so may hate me for it. I am so counter intuitive.
Speaking of which, they have here, lots of lifts (or elevators) with stairs right next to them. It is an extreme rarity to see someone actually use these rather wonderful marble steps, next to carefully molded cast iron topped with wood banisters. So, I have taken to using these, rather than the clunky (if not occasionally glass) and jerkily mechanical boxes. It appears that this is not the ‘done thing’, as people seem to give me odd looks as I race past them, book in one hand, sunglasses in the other. I of course, am only using the stairs to make use of the wonderful artistry put into them, and are of course, not using them to help stave off my guilt of eating so much recently(!).
I have yet to make use of the large heated sea-water swimming pool, and am even less likely to do so today, as everyone seems to have suddenly gone from t-shirts to shirtless. As you will know if you’ve watched my videos from the start, I don’t ‘do’ t’s. Or at least, I didn’t… I recently spent far too much money to finally get a summer wardrobe. And I am going no further than a stripey t and some chino shorts. The shirtless culture isn’t really my ‘thing’.
I really don’t have anything more to say, seeing as I’m completely and totally exhausted and so just need to go to bed. If you’d like to communicate with me for any reason, I shall be ‘online’ as they say, at around 9 each night during the coming days. Don’t hold me to that, but it’d be nice to talk to some of you.
I do apologise if this made very little sense, but the heat is going to my head!
Wishing you a wonderful summer, and promising you some form of creation when I next get the chance (probably at the start of august).
PS I’ve got a second channel now. http://www.youtube.com/pianomanbored
yeah, that’s something that’s happened.